Finally

OMG...

4th of April around the corner... and i'm still not be in the perfect condition...

Some more, my exam Pieces... T.T

A1, fast like hell (for me = =||) and i play like snail =c=

B1, soft and tempo is so important, but i cant even play the note clearly and 'cleanly' =x=

C3, the most emotional and always be my Favorite. But not very stable =.=a

haha...

At least i get something to wear for the coming Sunday Competition... That save my money =x=

not only Piano stuff, but PC fair finally start T.T

I've been waiting for so long... and now i'm really looking forward =o=

It's time, for me to PRACTICE ... i want a nice and enjoyable song to be perform ^.^

Otanoshimini \(≧▽≦)/

Alice in Wonderland

When i first saw the CM board of Alice, i thought that's some kind of Ghost movie or Scary movie. Then i keep told my friends that i will not watch that movie, no matter what. But one day, i re-watch my anime, Pandora Hearts, then i change my mind...

Pandora Hearts, got a character call Alice, a thing call Mad Hatter and a cat call Cheshire... When i saw the trailer for Alice, i started to ask my friends, "Hey, want watch Alice?.?" Lolz...

About the story, just like normal story... The Cruel Queen, Tragedy all around the land, people who suffer, and always a Dragon to kill...

What i LOVE about the story is Mad Hatter... When he saw Alice, he said that he sure she's The Alice although others think they found someone else... In this movie, Alice totally forget about the Wonderland she went before and always thought that just a nightmare... and she keep mentioning that she's dreaming and she will awake after some time...

When Hatter Fall for Alice

I cried, once again for a movie which no one will cry just like i do... HAHA, i cried because of Hatter, that poor Hatter... Alice think herself insane because she keep dreaming a DREAM, but her father comfort her that,"the Great person always be the mad one..." or something like that (i have forgotten the exact sentence :P) and Hatter think he's insane too because of the surrounding, the Red Queen attacked their people, and people live under FEAR... so there's Alice, she told Hatter the same thing as her father told her...

To protect Alice, Hatter put himself in danger... and Alice tried to rescue him too... When the White Queen ask who will be the Champion to Fight with the Dragon, Jabberwocky . Hatter is the first Volunteer instead of Alice... Till that second, i always think that Hatter Fall for Alice...

When Alice won, The White Queen past her the dragon's blood which can bring her back to her world,and Hatter told her that," you can choose to stay..." What a GREAT idea... but Alice refuse to, she said,"i will always remember you, Hatter..." (or something close... :P)

The way Hatter ask Alice to stay is so sad... and i cried...

Hey, Alice meet Absulem, the blue caterpillar who transform into a Blue butterfly but why not Hatter ?.?

Hatter, I LOVE YOU :P

彼方·男朋友

对于女生来说，这是一个很具幻想、希望以及期待的人物。这世界上有许多女性朋友都会一一列出自己心目中白马王子的条件，但有多少位小姐的丈夫或者是男朋友是完全符合她们列出来的要求呢？并不是说完全没有，但是可能性却非常地微小。

某某友人曾说过，“我要我的男朋友高过我...”这是很常见的条件。“我要我的男朋友体贴，事事关心我。”人嘛，都是希望自己是被人惦记着。“我要我的男朋友会说英文...”会说而已，谁不会？Thank You 也算是英文吧。

现实是，某某友人一开始真的很介意自己的身高高过她的男朋友（他们谈的是远距离恋爱），虽然嘴上说不介意，继续和她的男朋友走下去，可是事实上她老是抱怨说当他们见面的时候场面一定很难看。她的男朋友还算体贴吧，都老是让她，可是她却老爱无理取闹，发大小姐脾气，所以生闷气的戏码对我来说已经习以为常了。英文啊...我没听过，无以致评。但她说他英文很烂，比她还烂（她会说一点点，看懂一点点，但写法却是有点糟）... ... ... 无言。

如果你问我，我希望我的男朋友是个怎么样的人，我会答，“男人什么的，没想过。”

我是说真的，我想过的男人都是动漫小说人物，尤其是小受小攻们更是一绝。可是，我是一个很现实的人，加上我有过多的自知之明，所以将自己归类为恐龙一族、男生绝缘体等腐女+宅女。

170cm的身高，脸上满是豆豆，左眼对不上焦点，过于庞大的体型等...对于男生来说是很致命的。加上从小体验的人事物更让我理智永远排第一，男人只能存在于幻想间，现实最好为了别人于自己而将自己隔离。所以导致我身上有一股“男人莫进”的气息。

男朋友~她们好甜蜜哦~

Bye, Sebastian!! Hei~Claude~

About Kuroshitsuji 2nd Season... There's something NEW...

They decide change the 2 main Character, Seby and Ciel to another pair, Claude and Alois.

(Monoshitsuji 'white butler'; Butler-Claude Faustus 'Takahiro Sakurai' and Master-Alois Trancy 'Mizuki Nana')

For Fans of Seby and Ciel, plase dun be so mad about this decision, we can do nothing because the 1st episode will be release on July 2010... I get this from Official Site...

Since Ciel Died at the end of the Anime, so it cant continue... That's the only way to continue with 2nd Season.. i think... and the result of different from Manga :P

Still MAD about the changes of Character >,.< DUN~~ for 2nd Season, Sebastian's past will be show... and i get from one of the fans, she said that got one scene is Seby back to Phantomhive Mansion (i thought it get burn by pluto?.? but the fan said the place look like the mansion XD), he looking at a cake, had a little hat like Ciel's on it. Seby was depress and said “akuma de hitori desu kara” (i think it should be: As a Demon, will be lonely. 'i think :P') then he walked off into the snow alone.

is this how the cake looks like ?.? -- pic from manga chapter 14HOW SAD!!!!!!!!

when i get this news.... i feel angry at the begining, then disappointment, then accept it... and now... i'm quite excited about the coming episode... JULY T.T Form 6 just started :P haiyoyo~~ Both Main Character's Voice cast is performed by my one of the FAV, Takahiro Sakurai from 'Kyou Kara Maou','Kire Papa','Gakuen Heaven','Monochrome Factor' and etc etc etc... HE's GREAT AWESOME XD no matter GUY or even in Yaoi anime (for both uke and seme), he did his job GREAT~~ i really love HIM XD and for Nana Mizuki, i love her voice :P very sweet and nice and AWESOME~ she can sing for high key (quite High) and her song is nice ^^ from 'Shugo Chara', as Utau, the singer in the anime, her song is just great ~~

Someone said Claude is a name for both gender.... but... the master Alois has a girlish voice cast... (not that i ignore Ciel's voice cast aya chan... i love her too ^^) so i will be looking forward, the new Season-- Monoshitsuji (White Butler 'why what = =a')

not that i'm going to forget about Seby and Ciel... i just accept what the crew decided and their product... iwe still got manga, dont we? and we still fans for KUROshitsuji, dont we? IF there anything i can help for Seby and Ciel back, i will TRY HARD!!! and WE DO!!!

Kuroshitsuji wa zutto watashi tachi no kokoro na dayo~ ^o^ dakare, Kuroshitsuji no koto wa zutto DAISUKI !!

Ar~ let's Enjoy Ciel and Sebastian ~

http://www.kuroshitsuji.tv/movie/pv.html

将自己的脚，放进别人的鞋。

嗯，“将自己的脚，放进别人的鞋”是一句谚语吧，可是原文是英文吗？好像是。但说真的，我还蛮喜欢这句话。

这句话的意思应该是为别人著想吧，或者将自己摆在别人的立场上，尝试使用他们的想法思考。我觉得这世界上，真的没几个人是有这种想法，或者这句谚语从来就没出现在他们的生活里。

虽然我不能说我为每个人都抱着一样的态度，我也有尝试过为别人著想，当然是特定人物，可是她们却不懂我的行为。

今天我停了好多很不真实的话，有笑话、道理、想法，可是这些真的是很个人的东西，所以我也只是静静地听着，有时候插一插嘴。他说了很多很多，不停地说。好久没听见这么长的话了，还真的不习惯，可是我还是静静地听着。

哪，其实我们真的想要别人为我们著想吗？

你自己想想。。。

最近(17/3,18/3,19/3)

最近最近~好忙哦~好久没上网哦~噢噢噢噢~

说真的，老是在做工的时候我都想着要在部落格写些什么什么的，可是当我今天打开电脑连上网后，却只能对着电脑发呆。纳闷~明明就有很多东西想写，可是想写出来的时候却又不知道从何说起。啊~~~闷~~

前天去医院复诊，排了好久哦~ 果然不管到哪里，马来西亚的服务真的“好”得没话说。呵呵~医生说我的眼睛的状况很好，还说视力可能会复原。虽然不是说完全得恢复，但是会比较清楚。是哦？应该吧，我只希望我的眼球不要对不上焦点就好~

星期三和朋友去看戏~有认识了别校的朋友~哈哈。玩得还蛮开心的~而且Pinkie驾车载我们。我们看了孔子，很历史性的戏剧，照理来说应该没什么画面会赚人热泪吧，可是我却哭了，哭了3次...很好笑吧，可是我却觉得那部戏很让人心疼，不是吗？

孔子虽然有一个伟大的抱负，但是身在的环境却让他一再失望。他真的不赞成战争，但当战争在他眼前上演着时，他很伤心、心疼。人命一点点地消失，但他却无能为力。就算死的是敌方的人，他还是觉得很伤心。他在剧中没有哭吧，应该。所以我哭了...第二次是卫国夫人的死。她很有才能，但缺生为女子身。她想向孔子讨教，但是孔子却对她说，他从没见过谁是贪色也贪才的人。真真的那一句对白我也忘了，可是那些影像在卫国夫人去世时不断上演着，而却她所想的却只有她会面孔子的那一小段。夫人，她是笑着的。还有一次是子路死的那一段。冬天，他们走在冰河上，子路独自驾着马车载着书卷。当所有人都再跑离就快破裂的冰河上时，子路却赶不及了，连人带车跌进冰冻的河里。所有人围在周围，想唤回子路上岸，但是子路只是一心想将书卷都拾起，只因为这些书卷对于孔子来说都是很重要的。浮上，将书卷丢上岸，再沉下，一一捡拾坠落的书卷...之后，他渐渐地闭上眼，沉淀于冰河里...

啊...我哭了多少次也不清楚了...可是说真的，孔子是一部好戏。虽然这部戏可以说是周润发的One Man Show...真的很好看...

好忙~好烦恼~为什么我会被编进Advance组啊！我明明就和老师说过我不想也没有资格嘛...好压力哦！！！！讨厌，可是既然都没法改变，那么我只好硬着头皮上台吧，希望不要丢人现眼就好...希望~

工作~眼睛快花了~肩膀好酸~屁股好疼哦~真的是...唉~~~~~~为了钱宝宝的份上，只好努力吧~可是那些惨不忍睹的字迹真的是让人很抓狂！！！！我的眼睛~~好累哦~而且每次放工都是10点早一点点，回到家已经是30分钟后，冲凉后又过了20分钟左右，吃点点东西等头发干后，都差不多11点多...天啊！！黑眼圈跑出来了啦 @。@ 哀怨...可是每每想到钱宝宝，什么都无所谓了~~啊啊啊·~~·好期待拿到工钱的那一天~呵~

Get STUCK

FISH!!! The coming Piano Competition will be a terrible day for me.... T.T How come i be in Advance Group!!! Although i'm now Grade 6 BUT, i just started AND the song i play is VERY EASY + SHORT... haiz .... ... .. .. ...

Thursday, when i get to my music center, they told me to write down the song i play in the form... there got 3 column, grade 1-3, grade 4,5 and last for grade 6 to 8. erk= = for my row, they bracket at the last column... OMG!! then i ask her,"i thought my teacher register me for Inter Group..."

"But you pass your Grade 6 exam right..." =.=|| "Yeah, but i just start my grade 6 and the song i play is very very easy... so..."

She ignore me and keep telling me that Advance only got 6 people... T.T

WHY WOOOORRR!!!! I Want Inter Group!!! so paise... because i saw one of the participate play for 15MIN...YOH.... he want to play one full sonata meer... and i think i know who he is... and he will be the one who WIN... again....

FS... dun want to think so much already... if i really get stuck at Advance Group... then ... no choice....

NO CHOICE

Late in the Night

it's already 2315pm now... and my eye's still open widely... no mood to sleep...

it's been so long that i feel so down like today... dunno why... maybe because someone who i care the most but that particular someone dun feel the same thing...

I choose Friend to be the one, but they always choose something else.... i always care about my friend the most, but they din... Friend is always on my top of priority....

i know there's only few people will come and visit this blog... so i wrote this... it's not like i'm blaming someone or anything... it just like.... i feel so disappointed...

few days before, i thought about Loving or Couple or Boyfriend stuff... it's been so long that i realize i'm a teenage girl... there's so many example around me... most of my friend got someone they love or like... there's always someone chasing them, caring them and loving them... of course sometime they felt it's so troublesome, bothering, sadness or something bad... but at least they always stand in the middle of people...

i love to stay in the corner, not that i dont like the feel for show-off-ing, but it i dun always stand in front when i'm around someone, especially my friend...

Nar... again... this is just something crap... because i'm not sleepy... and because suddenly feeling so depress... anyway...

why cant i learn from the past, leave them alone, and stay for myself...

only myself...

u guys always told me that dun always be negative,
but why not?
do u really care what i think or what i do?
or what i think?
no, u dont... dont u?

回望

在前几年，我还认为我的生活都不会改变，就算我毕业了，我还是会有其他事情在忙。如果没有了课业补习，我还是会继续学钢琴、跳芭蕾，我真的没有想象过这两样挚爱会有离开我生活的一天。真的没有想过...

上一年，我升中五，面对着每一位中午生的重大考验。虽然，并不是每一人都会为自己担忧，而我自己就是其中一位对SPM没什么感觉的人。虽然我现在已经拿到了我的成绩，放下了担忧、压力，但是那一年的我对于自己在年尾有SPM考试，说真的，还真的是没什么紧张感。

每一天，我母亲都会在载我回家的路上总是念我，说着她辛苦的从前，我得过且过的现况，还有那遥遥无期的未来。俗语说得好，左耳进，右耳出。虽然我没什么用心在听，但当母亲说的鼻涕直流的时候，我还真的有为自己在担心，担心自己会像家里那无用的哥哥那样，或者想着母亲的辛酸会让这么懒惰的我开始感到亏欠，更有想过要洗心革面。想过，真的想过，至少在当时我真的有在考虑。考虑...

除了SPM,我还有考芭蕾舞，还有钢琴。这样还是没有让我有3分钟热度。芭蕾舞真的没有办法在家练习还是什么的，所以只能靠平时上课才能全神贯注；钢琴呢，说起来真的汗颜...练习的只有考试曲，并没有专注于指法，其他的呢真的就必须靠现场临场反应与反应速度还有观察能力。我说真的哦~哈哈~

芭蕾是第一个考的，因为考芭蕾的次数已经令我对于考试没什么紧张感，所以芭蕾算是蛮快过~加上考试是一组的状态下，而且我很信任，依赖还有我们很有默契哦~哈哈~真的很开心哦~每次考芭蕾的时候，可能是我最开心，最放松，最不在意自己长成个抱歉样、胖身材还有其他的缺点。因为我只需要表现自己就好啦~

我以前的芭蕾舞老师说过一句话，“在这间房间里，我们每一个人都在爱丽丝的仙境里，这一切都是你自己创造的。你是主角，故事在你身边围绕着，你要怎么表达都是你自己的决定。所以在这里，你们应该放松自己、相信自己、开创自己的想象。”

他，是我最敬爱的老师，在这么长的人生中，他是其中一个会赞美我的老师...我真的...很想念他，可是他却离开了...老师，对于放弃芭蕾舞这件事，我真的很抱歉...对不起...

哭了，哈哈...再听见老师离开的那一天，我都还是笑嘻嘻的，从来没有为老师哭过...可是当我在写这篇网志的时候，想起老师以前的事情，我却留下了...

哈哈，等下再开一篇新的，写给老师的~

考完了芭蕾舞，我还有钢琴考试要面对~2009年，我第二次的考试是考第五级。很紧张，在接近考试的那两个星期真的很紧张。因为，那时第二次而已，而且第五级是很重要的，如果没过，要重考...如果要重考，我会被母亲被家法侍候 = =|| 真的不想想象。 哈哈~虽然我认为我当时的表现还蛮不错的，但是却没想到可以拿MERIT。哇~赞！！！

还有哦~最近我钢琴老师告诉我说，“你老是说你在家里弹得好好，可是为什么你在我面前弹得时候却这样？还有哦，你考试的成绩真的让我吓一跳。我们都没想过你会拿那么高的，可是...很奇迹地，你却让我们跌眼镜。可能你在这里的表现真的比较差哦。”

很怪吧，我也这样觉得...哈哈~只有在考试的时候，我才能真的放松自己什么都不去介意地表现自己吧...

芭蕾过了，钢琴考了~剩下SPM...那时候我还是很混很混...每天上课，放学就去补习，和朋友乱哈拉，从没人真的开始读书...

时间一过，就声响1个月..汗颜 = =|| 好啦，有点点毛毛了，可是却还是过着得过且过，忧虑留明天想。那时候的补习课程都在做最后的冲刺，Seminar, Intensive Class, Workshop, 等等... 我真的有在专心，开始在专心了...哈哈~

不见棺材不掉泪，我想我真的是这种人...所以为了不要被家法伺候，我开始努力，稍微地...我开始啃历史。我将笔记打进电脑，传进电话，让我24小时都没有借口避开不背。数学、高级数学都有在学校做练习。其他的，都是临时抱佛脚。（佛啊~抱歉啊~我不是想抽你油啊~）

好吧，离题了，而且第一段完全是不相关的一段了 = =|| 每一次都这样，就算写了题目，开始了段落但每一次的结果、写出来的文章都不知我已开始打算写的东西...哈哈哈哈，好汗颜...

好吧~是时候交代一下了，我的成绩

芭蕾舞很开心的，又再次那会70+（Merit），钢琴说了，120（Merit），SPM...5A,7B = =||

所以，拜~中学生活~好开心离开了！！！！（只有我是为自己离开学校的事情感到开心的吧，其他人还是很怀念。我真的很开心。）

倾诉咖啡厅--苦主女主角

坐在咖啡屋里，我望着街上行走的人群。

今天是星期天，也是一个大晴天，而现在正值中午，所以街上满是人群。有一家人的，有一群朋友的，有情侣的，也有独自一人的。

街上很热闹，但是咖啡屋里却很冷清。不知名的钢琴曲围绕在3桌的客人身边，微微的咖啡香不时溢出来，店里却毫无人声。

店长在吧台里煮着没客人点的咖啡，一只黑色的猫窝在吧台前的高椅里。

坐在正中间的客人是一位男生，他神情严肃地看着面前的笔电，不时还敲着键盘扶正黑框眼镜扫扫过长的刘海。他点的那杯黑咖啡已经慢慢地不再飘出烟，而那盘千层面只剩下最后一口。“塔塔塔...塔塔...”他皱着眉头按下键盘。

另一位女生则坐在我的桌子斜对面隔两个位子的桌位。她是中四生，就读这城市其中一间名校。穿着小洋装的她脱下鞋子，将脚盘在椅子里，趴在书堆中睡着了。她说为了方便，所以在上个星期时换了一副透明隐形眼镜佩戴。她的黑发被照射进来的阳光映出了微红，更令她不适地将脸埋进书堆中躲避刺眼的阳光。

而我，着坐在角落的位子里，拿出一叠长方形的纸牌放在黑色底白色花边的桌布上。

XXX

眼前的女生，有着一头花了上百元烫的直发，高瘦的骨架，是个蛮吃香的外形。此刻，她却一脸气炸的样子喝着冰冷的巧克力·卡布奇诺冰沙。

小雯，她的名字。她说她现在的心情很烂，随时可以找人开骂。所以她现在坐在这里，找上我。

桌上的牌，有一张逆位的节制。

“你不会控制你的情绪，更认为情绪不是能被控制的东西，所以你很容易就发脾气，这会让人对你很反感，继而失去朋友。你自尊心很高，老是认为自己很成熟，认为自己的观点都是对的，所以对于外来的点评和劝导你都非常的不屑，也不认为自己也会有做错的时候。虽然你经历了比别人艰难的事情，但是你却还是没看清世界的险恶，加上你欲望过多，更让你的性格更自我。”我缓缓的开口。

停顿了下，我对上了她的视线。

心虚与不甘清楚地写在脸上。

我说到她的痛处，但却认为那不是她的错。她总是认为自己的家庭背景复杂，有时自己单独承担自己与脑袋吃顿的弟弟十分辛苦，所以将自己自动归类为悲剧女主角，嘴上永远都是那几句，“...我不像你们有父母，我什么事情都要自己面对...”，“你们要什么都有父母可以讨，我呢...”，“我的辛苦与你们的幸福比起来真的很刺眼...”

虽然她没有父母亲可依靠，但是有些孩子在有父母亲的情况下，却会承受着被期望的压力，与被束缚的生活。对，他们有些不用担心钱的问题，但那些通常都是较富裕的家庭；平常的小康之家的小孩还是会担心家里是否有多余的钱让她买东西，或者上补习班还是交杂费。

她总认为自己是不辛的小孩。

“可是我也不想啊...他那样做我当然会生气啊！我的名声被他给毁了耶！！”

“这里是咖啡厅，在这么安静的情况下，可不可以请你控制下自己的声音？”真的是一个很鲁莽的人，根本就不知道在别人面前露出自己的情绪是多么愚蠢的事情。

“可是现在全部人都戴着有色眼镜来看我，想找朋友聊还是澄清什么的，全部都不理我...”声音变小了，神情开始落寞。

“其实那些朋友可以算是朋友吗？朋友不是都会在你不开心的时候陪着你吗？在你需要帮忙的时候挺你吗？你有没有想过其实他们根本不是你的朋友？人与人之间，叫做自己的个体在99.9%下都是会护着自己，而被分为别人的综合体是在经过考量与分析后继而成长的。我刚才说你失去朋友，但我觉得一开始你所谓的朋友都当你是用完即弃的卫生餐具。”拿起特浓摩卡放在鼻端，我轻轻地吸了口气，喝下一口。

“你说你不想，那你有没有想过如果别人真的做了，你就阻止不了不是吗？现在即使你把那人骂得臭头，你也没得到什么好处，更可能让你的名声被自己给毁了。你说在这种情况下根本就没可能冷静下来吧，可是就是因为这样所以你老是被情绪控制而做出不理智的事情，继而将事情弄得更糟糕。老是怨天尤人地想为什么这些事情会发生在你身上，不如想怎么样解决吧。”

“你又不是我！凭什么对我说教！”听见一连串刺耳的话语，小雯忍不住地拍桌站起来继续开骂，“你懂什么！！我承受的压力还有辛苦你懂吗？为什么就是没有人体谅我！”

“自我中心，”我轻轻地开口，“是啊，没人懂。你没说，谁会懂啊？这世界上谁没有压力、谁不辛苦？你还想要人家体谅你，那你有体谅别人吗？有吗？”

“我...我...”慌了，她的眼睛发出泪光。

咖啡厅里环绕着另一首曲子，虽然在场的人没人知道那首歌是什么名。

“呜呜...”眼泪溢出，小雯坐回椅子上，双手胡乱地擦着泪水。

“现在什么都不要想，先哭吧...”收回纸牌，我走向吧台，“奶油泡芙一个，上面撒些巧克力粉。”

“好，请稍等。”店长笑着，开始准备我点的泡芙。

坐在吧台前，我来回地揉着黑猫。那只小猫有着乌黑亮丽的毛发，看来他被照顾得很好，“你幸福吗？”我想着。

“瞄~”黑猫的琥珀色眼眸在黑发的陪衬下，更显得出色。

“他啊，快被宠坏了。来，你的奶油泡芙。”店长将盛着奶油泡芙的小碟子放在吧台上，“我加了点巧克力酱，那是我特制的，可以配着来试看看。”

“谢谢。”拿起碟子，我走回自己的位置。“吃吧，甜点可以让大哭一场的你找回力气，也可以帮你的脑袋加点养分。”

“谢了...”小雯并没有立刻抬起头，多了一分钟后，她才用桌面上的小纸巾拭擦脸。

“心情平复了吧...”摩卡不像卡布奇诺般甜，味道对我而言像是咖啡与卡布奇诺之间的存在就是摩卡。喝着摩卡，我看着小雯。

“嗯...现在，我该怎么办呢？”小雯拿着叉子，沾了点巧克力酱往嘴里送去。

“你的脾气真的不好，我相信你也知道吧。有时候你总会很恼甚至讨厌自己的臭脾气，所以你真的要学习怎么去接受突发事件，不要在第一时间就生气起来，应该要想，想想为什么事情会那样，当务之急要怎么去处理那些问题。如果自己真的想不到，可以找人帮忙。”

“可是...我身边的朋友都是...”咬着下唇，小雯注视着面前的泡芙。

她其实有注意到，但只是不想承认、面对现实而已。

“想清楚，真的没有吗？没有任何一个是真的关心你吗？不是有一个不，论你过了很久都没找她，只要你有什么事情，她不是都会出现帮你吗？”轻轻地搅拌着摩卡，看着饮料顺时钟地转着。缓缓地，香味飘了出来。摩卡...

“...”小雯咬了一口泡芙。

“每个人身边总会有一位愿意留在自己身边的人，只是人们都总是太依赖，而且认为他们的付出是理所当然的，而开始漠视他们的重要性。你也是一样，你总有再没有人找你的时候才找上她，而她也不计较地默默陪在你身边，不是吗...”

“是啊...”泡芙沾了点巧克力酱，冷冷的奶油滴在酱上，开始混了起来。

“对于你自己本身，你不能老是认为自己很不辛还是什么的。这世界上也有比你更不辛的人事物，所以你要尝试冷静地面对一切困难，不要一味儿地逃避，最重要就不要老是期望别人帮你解决。面对现实、接受现况、寻找方案，还有要懂得节制都是很关键的。”

“嗯...”泡芙剩下一半，其中的奶油还是浓浓地留在泡芙里。

“吃完了，就离开吧。”站起身，我想她应该需要一点时间让自己想清楚下一步该怎么走。

走向还趴在书堆睡觉的女生，我拍了拍她的脸，“再不起身，功课又要做不完了。”

“哦...早...”揉着双眼，她眼蒙蒙地看着我，“呵呵~”

“叮铃铃~”咖啡厅的门铃响起来。

“谢谢光临。”店长笑着送走了小雯。

after ONE WEEK

i din update my blog or FB or Twitter or whatever for 1 week plus...
First time.... haha~~
arh... ... ...
there's so many things happen and so many things i need to worry about ... for last week...

'' finished Dark Vision by L.J. Smith ''
-> urm.... .... ....
->> misunderstanding...
->>> i thought there's someone who ARE vampire, but actually not...
->>>> it wrote physics Vampire, i thought is some Vam who got physics...
->>>>> so i'm dump
->>>>>> but anyway~ it's a good story :P
->>>>>>> i love Gabriel so much~ haha
->>>>>>>> and it's like some Chinese novel i read... 'the setting for physics things :P'

'' i got a part-timed job''
-> at Kumon for mon, thurs, and fri
->> get holiday till This Thursday
->>> quite bored, but still an easy job :P think so~
->>>> haha, got few days off this week :P

'' my friends coming back from NS''
-> miss her so much
->> when she got back, she keep asking me out T.T
->>> i'm bankrupt because of her T.T
->>>> going to TS with her later afternoon
->>>>> becoming a Special ESCORT for her = =|| BANKRUPT!!!

'' SPM result''
-> since she back at 11/3 (from NS), so i offer to collect our result together at Friday
->> meet with Hui Yew, Ee Ling, Pn. Chong, Pn. Tan, En. Ngoi, Pn. Mashita, En. Teoh,Pn. Teh, Miss Tang, Miss Khor, Cik Chai, Wendy, Ai Jun'sis XD
->>> so many 'congrat' here and there...
->>>> walk here and there to find teacher or asking something else
->>>>> teacher advise me to continue my form6, transfer to KB...
->>>>>> felt so Pressure
->>>>>>> get the wrong paper, i want LCCI something form, but the staff gave me something for remark = =+
->>>>>>>> so now if i continue my form6, i need to choose whether major Chinese or Music

'' SOMEONE ask me continue my Study and take Music COURSE for UNI''
-> erk = =|| i'm soooooo WEEK in my practical
->> but he keep pursuing me about that
->>> ''i got one teacher finished his/her diploma or something at UM, major Music ... ''
->>>> yayayayaya....
->>>>> feel so confuse about my future after that
->>>>>> i din really think that i can study for my Music..
->>>>>>> since those movie which is about music stuff always said that Main Character is soooo clever or genius in playing music instrument and their class is soooooo XXX XXX XXX and XXX... (some explanation for HARD)
->>>>>>>> arh.... again.... gain so much pressure...
->>>>>>>>> miss my school?.? no thanks~ HAHA
->>>>>>>>>> i think i'm the only one who din miss high school... i think =x=

'' Piano Stuff ''
-> first, i told my teacher i feel sooooo nervous and etc...
->> then my teacher replied me,''need no serious, our marking is sooo strict... just think you are playing for yourself...
->>> hey.... my teacher told me, i get in the higher grade group...
->>>> with 6 7 8 ... T.T
->>>>> i'm still a newbie for 6, plus my song is sooo easy for that grade...
->>>>>> so ... my teacher register me for middle grade group XD
->>>>>>> OH YEAH!!!!!
->>>>>>>> i will try my best XD hehe~~
->>>>>>>>> so, i need to find something to wear

'' Formal dress''
-> for 2 event
->> one is for the coming competition, another one is for exam use :P
->>> i have throw all my dress or something formal before CNY = =||
->>>> padan muka is it
->>>>> hey... i din wear laar!!!
->>>>>> so now i need to find for it T.T
->>>>>>> and i'm going TS later...
->>>>>>>> but i dun think TS got something suit me
->>>>>>>>> i'm an escort AGAIN (personally wen's property =x=)

'' what is my next step''
-> form 6?.?
->> i'm still not sure
->>> chinese or music for major ?.?
->>>> Japanese is a must for minor... maybe
->>>>> Cambridge for english ?.? dunno got money or not...
->>>>>> Raja Abdullah T.T KB T.T Jinjang?.?
->>>>>>> haiz....
->>>>>>>> study or work ?.? STUDY the BEST!!


-- hey, i'm lazy though, this is sort of SUMMARY =x= but it's still very long XD --

First Day Working

My First day of working = =|| i think... maybe i gonna have Number Phobia... T.T that's really true although i'm the one who dont believe i gonna have that illness when my friend told me so, but after today... i think it's POSSIBLE...

Hei... i used Ping... and like a normal scenario, everyone thought is PINK =x= haha... fine, i dont care much... really... when the Head introduce me to the teachers and staffs, some of them stunned there... then smile like =w= nar~ i used to it~

then some senior workers came and she teach me what to do and how to do... As a MARKER, i though i only need to sit there and mark those exercise... Sound pretty easy right... BUT, when u see those student come and back, u will faint... the student coming non-stop!!! OMG!!! i have only few minutes for me to do nothing, other than that, my eye keep moving left and right to check the answer, and my hand keep circling or tick those incorrect and correction, then slot those exercise and check for student whether their homework is ready or not... T,T

BUSY BUSY BUSY

the only free time i have was having my dinner - eating bread near the wash room T.T haha~~ sounds funny :P

Tired T.T and tomorrow i really need to practice my piano :P

HOPE i really can play better XD

BL~一切都是爱啊~ =w=

一切都是爱啊~

各位~有谁知道到底这里的BlogPost可以加Password的吗？

为什么要放？因为啊... ... ...

1. 我不想残害国家未来栋梁

2. BL耶！有很萌、喷鼻血的一小段呢！不是同好的人，会承受不了~我可不想被炮轰~

3. 第一次写，有点小小的希望 :) 希望过滤下有谁人读过~

天啊~我已经写到中间咯~高潮就快写了~ X.X 厚厚厚~

最近因为拿回了一些我的小说（在朋友家过了半年有余 T.T），所以我从看了几本~呵呵~看到一个是以动漫同人作为故事点缀的系列，让我冒起了，“不如我也来写一篇短篇的BL好了！”天啊~~好像到台湾的动漫展看看哦~她们可是很热衷与布袋戏~哦哦~上一次看到的本国布袋戏Coser真的让我眼神一亮！！！哇~~真的很棒！他们手上的乐曲，化妆，服饰更是一绝！！！哇哇哇哇~~

嗯嗯嗯...还记得当我第一次让我误入歧途的事，真的是天意啊~~本来我已经很有兴趣，但无奈不懂那里有，所以当我理所当然将洛小炜的‘王子与野兽’系列中其中一本时，当时真的注定我是要一头栽进BL那花花世界~~虽然那一本的激情很小段，但是我真的很爱那本故事的爱情与友情...可是...洛小炜！重写啦！！我不要让我心疼而哭的结局！！！呜呜呜 T.T

嗯嗯~啊~回头看~我已经看过了几本BL小说，50本多的BL漫画（全部都是英文的X.X）还有10（以内还是以上？。？）的动画~哇哇哇~虽然比起台湾、或者本国的精通的姐姐们~~好希望能和你们交流交流哦~~

有人问，问什么那么喜欢呢？

因为... ... ...

一切都是爱啊~

Mary go Around @ Mid Valley

OH MY~~~ Yesterday was such a Great day :) Feel so satisfied =x=

This was the first time that go out with friend at afternoon, after 12 o'clock some more =w= because i can back at night (before 6 i should be home, my mum will call me after that = =||) , so i always ask the time be 10 something, so we can have more time...

This time different, first, we din intend to play, the main motive is actually watching movie... Since Pinky mum fetch us... so she pick me up first, then fetch his brother who just finished school... then her mum keep luring her bro go with us :P haha~

We reach KTM station at 1 something, wait for 30 min (maybe lesser :P) , here comes the train XD LUCKY~ so fast:P

The first thing in our agenda was looking for TOP SHOP, because Qii work there as part-time XD we keep telling her we want to visit her over there but... we din :P so we do so yesterday, to keep our promise :P Quite big, and Fancy, and so EXPENSIVE (for me especially =w=) haha~ Qii dun change much, beside her hair color :P haha~ then she told me that Fee Yin working there also :P and i say Hi to her Xp (A way for me to meet my form1 classmate XD but beside Qii... Xd)

then we go the basement... looking for our lunch XD and suddenly Pinky suggest Pizza = =+ and we order Set meal XD after we order, the check was ready and placing on our table =.=a so fast...

always the BEST match for me XD

Our set got 2 medium Pizza, 4 soup and plate of bread (that's not garlic bread T.T), 1 jar of Carbohydrate Drink...

Island something (left), full of tuna with cheese =w=/Hawaii Chicken (right),i think XD

SO FULL XD me and Pinky just eaten 3 pieces but we shared 3 cup of soup XD


Pinky last BITE XD so boh song~

Then we went for Bread's Papa to buy cream puff XD

After that, we went for Wash Room :P and i meet Wendy there XD hoho~

Then we head for MPH since we got nowhere go to XD ARH~~~ i stuck into 2 Books.... One is Beautiful Creature, another one is Dark Vision... i cant decide myself, then i ask Pinky to Choose for me =x= she like the Title of the Book Cover for Beautiful Creature, but Love the Girl for Dark Vision... XD then this is what i choose XD

WOW~~~ So Happy... Got New BOOK to read XD so exciting what story waiting for me =w=

Fallen by Lauren Kate

Half of the day plus 1 hour... I finished this 400 plus page book... Quite a surprise for me, even Twilight cant finished as fast as this... urm... maybe Twilight thicker than Fallen... Maybe...

Let's talk about this book...

This is the story about angel -- what can u relate with this FALLEN word except angel ? -- and reincarnation... Reincarnation is quite a new story for me to read from English novel, but this is the second series have the same idea -- or setting -- which quite impress me with both story...

Fallen: Luce, teenage girl who transfer to a reform school — Sword & Cross. In that school, everyone had thier own story and pass, so do Luce. There's something wrong about her, and she know about that but she tried to act normal in front of others... She see something dark and she call it as Shadow, sometime, she hear some noise or sound too... So, her parent bring her to doctor until she mature enough to realize that, if she pretend she see nothing or heard nothing or pretend she don't, maybe she can get herself out of this situation, not all but at least she only have appointment with doctor twice a week... and she think it's better...

But something BAD happen, real BAD... one guy burn alive in front of her and she's the only one who in that area at that particular time... and of course, she saw Shadow that night... and what she remember don't get herself better but worst... Police suspect her, and she get into that reform school... over there, she meet someone who always make her feel familiar, his face, his sound and the way he act...

Daniel, the person who attract Luce... and Cam, the person who fall for her... (about Cam, i'm not so sure, since Fallen not even explain all these mess up thing...)

Luce start to find out anything related to Daniel, his past, the reason he stuck here, the familiarity between them... although Daniel always show his exclusion most of the time... but she cant hold herself to look forward...

Again, something Bad happen once again around Luce... one of her schoolmate, Todd broke his neck when he and Luce escape from the burning library... and Daniel save her, then she dream about him holding her, and floating above the land up to the sky, then she saw the wing, behind Daniel's back...

She can have her past life memory, or Daniel cant kiss her... if not, she will get herself killed... Luce always found Daniel, no matter where he hide himself... like the past... but this time, something different happen, they kiss, but she still alive... then the war begin...

Till the end, the war is still going on... and there's still many puzzle still stay undefined... and the next book will be the coming Summer...

Wait and See

The Next Story

TORMENT

who will be the one she LOVE

... ... ...

Bad Day (WTF)

Pardon, please excuse me for using such a word or phrase, and i'm going to use that for the coming paragraph ... Sorry, but i just want to split my feeling out 'correctly' X.X

OK, Let's start my story...

Today is Tuesday, and i have piano class around 3pm (usually is more earlier = =||)... My mum used to pick me up from house if she got something to do, otherwise, she will just fetch me there without any hesitation ... BUT!!! today my mum busy with so many stuff that she cant make it ... SO ?.? as a good, responsible, smart Adult, i'm going to take bus....

Public transport like Bus and KTM is quite familiar with me, since i learn how to take bus at Standard 3 and KTM when i'm Form1... and Bus, was my transport during my Form 3 till half of my Form 4.... Something happen so i ask my mum to pick me up as much as possible...

and That Particular SCENE happen today ONCE AGAIN T.T although i almost forget it DID happen to me T.T

Those Africans 'black guy' ... my housing area pack with those people came from Vietnam, Bangladesh, African and somewhere somewhere....and we quite get used to that... So, i went down to the bus stop, and there PACK (almost 6) with those Black Guy... when i pass through them, heading to the shading place, their eye looking at me... when i stop and glance, 2 or 3 of them still looking at me = =|| i can do nothing (or u want me go stand in front of them and flip them off = =||) so, i pretend i know nothing about the glance...

One bus gone, Two buses GONE... then the THIRD one gone ALSO T.T and finally came, Rapid and Selangor came TOGETHER !!!! FXXX (pardon me...XD) so i get into Selangor, since most of the people get into REPID... i always sit at the back, 2 or 3 sit in front of the last row...

then i saw one of the BG came and sit BEHIND me... At first, i though he sit at the last row... so i din pay any attention to him.... when the staff came , i scan his hand on the chair next to me !!! erk= =|| I SEE NOTHING~~~~~

Here come the staff... we both held out our hand with money to the staff and i let the staff collect his first... and then, i REGRET!!!! He do something behind me and i dunno what it is until the staff stunned there... and he said, "we together." WTFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

i shock and stun there and turn around, to face the staff and keep asking the staff dun bother him and i will pay for myself and the staff replied me , "Tak perlu lar! Kan dia Bayar Untuk Kau." then he ignored me and my money, pick out the ticket, and pass to me... WTF!!!!!

So, i regret for two thing, one is why dun i just get my ass to Rapid, at least i have a chance to pay for myself (maybe that particular BG wont come after me!!) , Second, i must pay for my ticket as fast as possible!!!

when the staff gone, i turn to him ask want to pay him back, of course, he refuse me... i keep trying until... i get tired = =|| so i thanks him (although i dun want to, although i want to say something rude, but i'm a good girl who will always polite to everyone although other people are Sxxx) so i faced the window.... try to ignore him... but....

BUT!!!!!!! he stared with Question... my name, where i stay, am i still a student, where's my school... i get frustrated and turn back to the pay-for-myself-ticket again to stop his question... and this time, he replied me, "no, it's from my inner heart..." "my soul want me to do that..." "today we meet, and i like you" "bla bla bla..." WTF... goose bump all around my body T.T

"can we be friend" ... one more SXXX question, i stunned and think how should i answer, in a polite way.... but then , "NO." is what i can get... hei, is his fault that used up my patience = =... at least is din split this, "FXXX the HXXX OFF..." erk.... (hei, Sookie, u teach me that XD)

Third of my regret, when dont i just wear my earphone and listen to whatever music... maybe it mwill become worst that he will come and sit beside me or even touch me to remain me he's there... ERK!!!

The worst.... some Indian Uncle (i'm still polite, if not, i will call them Ojishang 'senior citizen in japanese, since senior citizen is still a polite way') keep STARING at Me (for most of time), and him... FXXX... i think they missunderstood about us... since we keep arguing about the ticket and stuff like be Friend.... So, i keep staring at them, which ANGER...


the next stop, my destination, i stand up quickly, said TQ for the last, and wait at the exit... and ignore THEM!!! when i get down, i stare one of the indian UNCLE and nod to the BG (hei, he paid for me although i dun want him to, but i'm a girl who polite to everyone, no matter what SXXX is them...)

Mum, cant u at least escort me or pick me up or whatever to end this kind of thing... T.T